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CLIENTS AND ATTORNEYS NEED TO TAKE CARE OF THEIR MENTAL HEALTH DURING DIVORCE AND CUSTODY LITIGATION

2/16/2023

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I write this post with a heavy heart.  A former client, I'll call John, committed suicide earlier this week and I want to share this story to impart wisdom and hope to anyone that might need some.  Conflict of any kind can be stressful, but throw in lawyers, the nastiness of litigation, and a justice system that sometimes doesn't seem just--well--that is enough to send any of us over the edge.  None of us are immune to the lasting effects of litigation, including the lawyers involved.  I share with my clients how I manage my stress to encourage them to get help.  Sometimes I require it as a condition to represent them because losing a client to suicide, would send anyone into a tail spin regardless of their background.
 
Because I struggled with suicidal thoughts and depression when I was younger and before I had proper ways of coping with those issues, I can usually see the signs in clients.  When John came to me, he was struggling with suicidal thoughts, but we made a plan for him that included weekly talk therapy, medication, meditation, exercise, and some accountability.  Thankfully, I was able to get John through his divorce and he was moving on and doing well until problems arose that put him back in a heated custody situation.  In August 2022, I wanted to help John, but his case was tough and I didn't think I had it in me because of so many other hard cases as well as some health issues that seem to be directly related to representing too many clients with tough cases.  I ultimately had to refer John to other lawyers.
 
You are probably wondering where is the wisdom and hope.  The wisdom is this: know your own limitations, trust your gut, you don't really need the money, and saying no is perfectly ok for your own self-preservation.  The hope is this: know that you are not alone, know there is nothing wrong with you; and know there is help out there https://texassuicideprevention.org/  and https://www.tlaphelps.org/
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Family Violence and Divorces

4/8/2021

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When one spouse accuses the other spouse of assault or abuse right before or during a divorce, the outcome of a criminal case or protective order case is crucial to the outcome of a divorce.  If a spouse is found guilty of assault family violence, the Court could restrict a parent's right to see their children and ultimately give the "victim spouse" more than 50% of the community property.  In some cases, Courts have awarded up to 100% of the community property, but that is rare.  In regards to child custody, there is a presumption that both parents walk into a Courtroom door on equal footing and they should both be awarded joint managing conservatorship of their children.  However, that presumption can be rebutted with evidence of family violence.  If one parent is found to have a pattern or history of family violence, that parent's visitation with the child could be restricted to only supervised visits until the alleged abuser can prove to the Court that he/she has not committed family violence.  

In March 2020, I was hired by a Father to file for Divorce and request that the Mother be required to return to Texas with their children.  While my Client was at work, the Mother packed up the furniture in the marital home and ran off to Oklahoma with the children.  When the mother arrived in Oklahoma, she requested a Temporary Ex Parte Protective Order alleging that my Client had abused her and the children.  Prior to the Mother leaving Texas, she filed for Divorce, but did not inform the Father.  My Client's case became a procedural nightmare because a Divorce was pending in a Texas Court that had jurisdiction over the children, but there was also an Ex Parte Protective Order against my Client out of Oklahoma.   Now add a Global Pandemic to my Client's situation!  At the Temporary Hearing, the Mother's Divorce Attorney agreed to the Mother and Father being named Joint Managing Conservators of the children and agreed to the Mother moving back to Texas.  However, our agreement in the Divorce proceeding did not completely solve the Ex Parte Protective Order in Oklahoma.  Hiring a competent and aggressive Criminal Defense Lawyer that practices in Texas and Oklahoma was crucial to my Client's divorce case. 

​Donald Haslam came highly recommended by several attorneys in the Dallas area.  If you are in need of an experienced criminal defense attorney in Texas or Oklahoma, Donald Haslam should be your first phone call. His impressive library of case results is worth visiting at
at https://donhaslam.com/case-results/


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​Does Legal Separation Exist in Texas?

10/29/2020

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Texas does not have legal separation.  However, a spouse can file for divorce and separate from their spouse, but not necessarily in that order.  Many clients come in conflicted about filing for divorce.  One option for couples that are on the brink of divorce, is to file for divorce, but still choose to work on their marriage by consulting a pastor or a Licensed Professional Counselor. 

Once a divorce is filed, the parties can attend a court hearing to determine: 1) how to handle visitation with the children; 2) who will pay specific bills; 3) who will live in the marital home and drive which vehicle; and 4) who will pay child support and anything else that needs to be dealt with immediately.  The first hearing is TEMPORARY and once those issues have been resolved, the parties can concentrate on trying to repair their marriage.  Having paramaters in place of how to handle money and custody issues (your Temporary Orders) often times frees up emotional space to actually work on the marriage!  I am happy to say that I have had many clients over the years dismiss their divorce proceedings and decide to stay married.  Unfortuantely, that does not always happen and if it doesn't then we  proceed with finalizing their divorce. 
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Texas Officially Recognizes Fit Parent Presumption

7/12/2020

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Imagine you have joint custody of your child with a 50/50 possession schedule.  Now imagine the other parent moves in with a significant other who is helping raise your child during the weeks the child is not with you.  Imagine even further that the other parent suddenly passes away and that significant other who has been living with the other parent files a lawsuit so they can have custody and visitation of your 3-year-old child.  Yes, a boyfriend or girlfriend who lives with the other parent, for at least six months, has a legal right to file a lawsuit and seek custody and visitation of that child. 

This fact scenario ended up at the The Texas Supreme Court because the District Judge allowed the boyfriend to have visitation with the child.  The father and  boyfriend filed their briefs.  Many Amicus Curiae briefs were filed by non-profit organizations and foundations dedicated to protecting parental rights.  One of those organizations is the newly created Texas Association of Family Defense Lawyers (TAFDA)  https://www.tafda.net/find-an-lawyer, which I am a proud member.  The founding member of TAFDA and I, co-authored an Amicus Curiae brief in response to another foundation's Amicus Curiae brief who argued in favor of the boyfriend having possessory conservatorship of the child and visitation rights.  

The Texas Supreme Court, using some of TAFDA's arguments, concluded that "When a nonparent requests conservatorship or possession of a child, the child’s best interest is embedded with the presumption that it is the fit parent—not a court—who makes the determination whether to allow that request." The Texas Supreme Court further ruled that "The trial court thus abused its discretion in ordering, over the objection of [child's] father, that [boyfriend] be named Abigail’s possessory conservator with rights to possession of the child.

The full opinion can be found at: 
https://www.txcourts.gov/media/1448054/190694.pdf


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Visitation Schedule During COVID-19

3/18/2020

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The Texas Supreme Court issued an an emergency order to address parents' visitation (legally called possession and access) with their children during Spring Break and school closures.  Parents should look to the  original published school schedule to determine their times of possession and access.  Parents possession and access shall not be affected by the school’s closure that arises from an epidemic or pandemic, including COVID19.  The full article is located on the Texas Supreme Court's website, but difficult to find.  Here is the link:                                    https://www.txcourts.gov/media/1446106/209043.pdf
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Retainer Fee Vs Flat Fee

2/2/2020

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​A retainer is a specific amount of money requested from a lawyer to begin representing you in a legal matter.  Those monies are placed into a special checking account called an IOLTA account.  Any interest accrued on monies deposited into a lawyer’s IOLTA account is distributed to the State of Texas Indigent Defense Fund.  This fund represents people in situations that involve taking away an inherit liberty given to us by the Constitution.  For example, crimes that involve jail time, involuntary mental health commitments, and termination of parental rights. 

Lawyers that require a retainer work on an hourly basis.  A lawyer's hourly rate is determined by their experience and the normal hourly rate in the counties they practice.  As the lawyer works on your case, they deduct the monies from your retainer.  The following are some tasks you might see on an invoice from your lawyer: drafting pleadings letters, or emails; researching a legal issue; talking to you, opposing counsel or an expert; and attending court hearings, depositions, and mediations.  A lawyer’s Legal Assistant and Paralegal also bill for the time they spend on your case, but at a much lower rate.  Legal Assistants and Paralegals should be utilized whenever possible as it is cost effective for the client.  Usually, the retainer is paid all at once, but on rare occasions, the retainer can be paid in payments.  Once your retainer is reduced down to $500.00, the lawyer will require you to replenish your retainer so that your case can be completed.

A flat fee is an amount of money the lawyer will accept to complete your case from beginning to end.  Flat fees are not common for divorce, custody, child support or probate cases. However, if a client can convince the lawyer that he/she has an agreement with the opposing party, a flat fee would be appropriate in that situation.  The following are usually flat fee cases: chapter 7 bankruptcy; chapter 13 bankruptcy; criminal cases only involving plea deals; name changes; estate documents (Will, Durable Power of Attorney, Health Care Power of Attorney, and Health Care Directive/Living Will); and probating a Will as a Muniment of Title.
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How do I Find and Hire a Good Lawyer?

12/29/2019

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Hiring a good lawyer is a very important decision.  In looking for the right lawyer, consider the following: do they regularly practice in the area you need representation, do you know someone who has used the lawyer you are considering, do you feel as if you can trust the lawyer’s advice, do your personalities mesh?  It isn’t always necessary for your lawyer to have the most experience in the area of law you need help in, but you want to make sure that the lawyer has a moderate amount of experience in the area or knows how to conduct legal research efficiently.  A more experienced lawyer will cost more, but if you are on a budget, a less expensive lawyer can also get the job done.   Finding a lawyer that you trust, in my humble opnion, is more important than their experience because if you do not trust them, you will not follow their advice.  If you do not follow their advice, you sabotage your own case and there will be hard feelings for sure!  Ask yourself: If this lawyer asked me to do something that I didn’t think I needed or wanted to do, would I still do it?  Lastly, when determining if a lawyer is right for you, consider the way you normally communicate and how you best receive information.  If at the initial meeting with the lawyer, you are confused and leave with unanswered questions, you will always feel confused and have unanswered questions throughout the case.  Lawyers are usually hired as a last resort and more times than not, deliver bad news.  I say if you don’t like the news being delivered, you should at least like the person delivering the news!
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WHY SHOULD I REVIEW MY CREDIT REPORTS?

10/20/2017

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Reviewing your credit reports annually is very important to help prevent identity theft. You can obtain a FREE credit report from all 3 credit bureaus at: www.annualcreditreport.com If you see something reported incorrectly on one of your reports, you can immediately dispute the negative reporting with just a few clicks. This process can help you increase your credit score without paying a service to do it for you!

One last tip, if you suspect someone attempting to steal your identity or maybe a spouse might want to open an account in your name without your permission, then you should request that all 3 credit bureaus call you before allowing any new applications to be processed in your name. I learned the hard way, no need for you to do the same! Happy Investigating!!
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How Long Does It Take To Get A Divorce

1/18/2016

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Upon filing a Petition for Divorce, there is a minimum waiting period of 60 days, unless there is some type of family violence exception.  However, very few divorces are completed in less than 90 days and those cases usually involve little to no property and usually no children of the marriage.  If you have children or property, you will have what is called a Temporary Hearing  within 14 days of filing your Divorce Petition.  At that hearing, the parties will figure out who lives where, who drives what, who pays what bills, and when each party will have possession of the children.  After the Temporary Hearing, hopefully we have a cooling off period for 45 to 60 days for everyone to adjust to their new life before we discuss long term settlement or begin the discovery process.  Next post will explain the discovery process.
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I Am Behind On My House Payments Should I File Bankruptcy?

2/19/2015

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That question cannot be answered in a blog because I need more facts.  Why did you get behind on your house payments?  Do you have income to make the payments now?  Do you have any other debts that you are unable to pay?  


When you file a chapter 13  or chapter 7 bankruptcy, all collection efforts stop. That means creditors cannot foreclose on your home or repossess your car. Most people want to file a chapter 13 bankruptcy so they can keep their home, but many times I recommend that my clients abandon ship and I will tell you why! In a chapter 13, all of your debts are put into a big pot, you make a monthly payment to the chapter 13 trustee, usually for 3 to 5 years,  and he pays all of your creditors a little bit every month.  Now, this is the problem, most people could not afford to make their regular house payment before, but now they not only have to make the house payment, but they also have to make a payment to the chapter 13 trustee. When you come into my office, I will ask, can you afford to make the house payment and all your necessaries to live (electric, food, gasoline, etc.)  If the answer is yes, then you might be a good candidate for a chapter 13. The next question is, after paying your house payment and all your necessaries do you have any money left over at the end of the month to make a payment to the chapter 13 trustee?  Remember, you have to pay back all of those missed house payments over 3 to 5 years, along with any other debts thrown into that big pot. So, if you or your spouse lost a job for a while and got behind on your house payments, but now have a way to make the current house payments then you could be a good candidate for a chapter 13 bankruptcy.  However, many people file a chapter 13 bankruptcy when their income has not increased nor has their expenses decreased and by filing a chapter 13 bankruptcy they are only putting a band aid on a gushing wound!  Trust me, 2 years later you will be upon foreclosure again and asking me, did I file bankruptcy for nothing?  And I will say, I told you 2 years ago you couldn't afford this home and you need to abandon this ship!!  Please don't let your pride get in the way because you will only be more disappointed that you didn't abandon ship sooner.

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The information on this website is for informational  purposes only and does not create an attorney-client relationship.  Nothing on this website should be considered legal advice for your particular issue.  Laws change often and the information on this website is general in nature and cannot substitute for an in depth consultation with a lawyer.  
Law Offices of Tina M. Hall, PLLC
25 Noble Ct., Suite 121 
Heath, Texas 75032
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